


I'm Glad We Had This Talk

by Epiphanyx7



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I Don't Even Know, M/M, The Talk, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-05
Updated: 2009-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 01:14:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epiphanyx7/pseuds/Epiphanyx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam have a very serious conversation about love and sexuality. (In true Winchester style).</p><p>Dean glares at him. "When a man and an angel <em>love each other very much</em>," he says grimly, loudly enough that a few heads in the diner turn to look at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Glad We Had This Talk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunspot (unavoidedcrisis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidedcrisis/gifts).



> Written for sunspot because she needed love. Pure crack. Depending on how you squint (or the prescription of your slash goggles), this could be Dean/Cas or Sam/Cas or ... pretty much any human/angel pairing you can think of.

"Look, Sammy," Dean begins speaking very slowly, like he thinks Sam's going to cut and run.

Listening almost absently, Sam finishes chewing and then takes another bite of salad, wondering if he ought to be offended that Dean has suddenly decided his younger brother is a frightened rabbit or some kind of feeble-minded schoolgirl. "Dean," He says, around a mouthful of lettuce. "Just spit it _out_."

Dean looks distinctly uncomfortable for a minute, and then he says, speaking too quickly, "Look, Sammy, uh," and his left eye twitches a little bit when he starts talking again. " _Whenamanandanangelloveeachotherverymuch---_ "  


  


" _What,_ " Sam says.

"I said," Dean glares at him, and then he stuffs a french fry in his mouth and chews furiously. "When a _man_. And an _angel--_ "

"I have suddenly realized how much we really, really need to _not have this conversation_ ," Sam interrupts him, his eyes so fucking wide that he's pretty sure they're about to fall out of his sockets to roll around merrily in his dinner plate. "Really, Dean, it's okay. I'm totally fine with us not ever, ever talking about this," Sam adds, horrified, because the only thing _worse_ than having Dean give him the first sex talk when he was eleven and had started having really confusing dreams was --- well, Dean giving him another sex talk when he's twenty-six years old and really doesn't want to know about the sacrilegious gay sex Dean is having with their _guardian angel_.

Dean glares at him. "When a man and an angel _love each other very much_ ," he says grimly, loudly enough that a few heads in the diner turn to look at him. Sam hunches as far down in his seat as he can, cursing his size and wishing that Dean had any sort of sense. Unfortunately, once Dean's set his mind on something, the only two viable options are to go along with it or get out of his way. Unfortunately, Sam thinks, despondently staring at the ketchup pooled beside Dean's french fries, this doesn't seem like the kind of situation where he can get out of the way.

"The important thing," Dean says, pointing a french fry in Sam's direction and savagely biting the tip.

"Dean, I do _not_ want to know," Sam groans, softly, because Dean is making enough of a scene without him.

"The important thing," Dean repeats, "Is that you remember that angels don't actually have genders," and Dean apparently thinks that this is the end of a conversation, because he digs into his burger as if he hadn't just fed Sam a series of the most surrealistically disturbing sentences ever uttered.

"I really, really don't care if you have sex with Cas," Sam says, a little disgusted at how pissed off he sounds. "But please don't fucking _tell me about it_."

Dean makes a face at him. "Dude, shut up and finish your dinner." and he takes another bite of his cheeseburger before he adds around a mouthful of greasy, disgusting fast food, almost as an afterthought, "I'm also not boning Cas."

"What?" Sam puts down his fork and lays both hands on the table, palms down, staring directly across the booth at Dean.

"What?" Dean asks, swallowing his food. He does not look like he's lying.

"Uh," Sam says. "So what was that crap about --"

"And I think I just lost two hundred bucks, because I did not think that you were this dumb," Dean says. "Thanks for that, bitch. Remind me to kick your ass later. But look, man. I mean, I'm just saying, Sammy that -- Cas is a big boy, and he can do - or _date_ \- or make sweet love underneath a starlit sky on like, a blanket woven from unicorn tails and fucking moonbeams, or whatever -- anybody he wants. But you've gotta remember, he's just wearing a male body. Doesn't make him a dude. Doesn't make him gay, or anything, if he wants to get it on with dudes."

"I didn't say he was?" Sam offers, hoping that his face isn't making the expression he thinks it's making. Dean has made less sense in his life, but then again, the only time Sam can think of when Dean had actually made less sense than he is right this moment -- well. Dean had been sort of insensible with drugs and also there was the gypsy curse and the fairy dust combination, so perhaps that shouldn't even count.

"It's what's on the inside," Dean says, very solemnly, "That counts. Got that, Sammy? It's what's on the inside, that counts. Outside doesn't matter, so long as it like, you know, hot, or whatever floats your boat. But what's on the inside is what counts. And what's inside Cas is a near-omnipotent demi-god type of being that doesn't really have junk, you know what I'm saying?"

"Um," Sam says. He is very confused.

Dean looks at him, patiently, ketchup on his bottom lip and dripping onto his plate from the burger he has clasped in one hand. "Sam," He says. "Dude, I am _not_ going to say it again." And then he starts eating like they'd been discussing the weather, ignoring all of Sam's attempts to talk to him about Cas.

  
_What the fuck_ , Sam thinks, but he doesn't have very many options, so he shuts up and eats his salad.

-


End file.
